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18 when i saw him, my heart lurched, but he just walked right past us both.

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7 finally, it’s raining. i come down with a faint case of vertigo. keep tilting to the right. heart side, other side. maybe i’m trying to get some distance. hard to win a stare-off with your failings. “if you get wet,” she says, “couldn’t you be electrocuted?” cherry blossoms gather in plastered pink on the sidewalks. everything smells like blossoms and rain. my valentine won’t stop throwing up. i’m trying not to fall over.

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3 it looks like a giant manta ray. swimming through my small insides like they’re the open ocean. that manta ray has a big mouth. Breathe in, he said, listening, Again...Again... “the imagination,” says the novelist, “is like a muscle: the more you use it, the better it performs and the quicker you get ideas of higher caliber.” bright metal snaps where soft brown skin should be. maybe i’m stable where everyone else is electric. my heart is like a muscle. my heart is like a muscle. my heart is a muscle.
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